It has been a long since I last posted something but to be honest this time I have a legit reason, I don't know what I want to do with my life. This is a dilemma for everyone but I feel like I really am lost. I'm 18 now and even tho I suffer with the the thought of knowing that I'll finish high school by 2017 I do think I'm lucky I have one more year to think about what I want to do. As a child I always wanted to be a different thing, now is totally the same. I wanted to study psychology, but I'm an art student and don't know if that is possible, then I thought about graphic design, but I don't know if it's something I'll be good at, now I'm thinking about liberal arts, but there are some subjects I haven't study in years and I'm afraid I'd fail. So long story short, I have no idea what to do.
I know I want to go away from here, I want to travel the world and meet new people but this year I've met some amazing people and I am so happy about it and finally I feel like things are starting to go the right way. But if life has taught me that everything can change 180 degrees in just a second. So right now I'm lost.
One thing I has to say tho is that I am preparing myself for university. I don't know what I'll study, or where, or even if I'll be able to pay it, but I know I want to study something. Maybe I've been thinking about it too much lately and I'm becoming obsessed about it so I will try to take a break and just focus on doing what I love.
This last paragraph reminds me of something. I've loved Youtube since I was 8 and always wanted to make videos. I have never had the opportunity. Let's start with the number one reason, my dad. He has always been so obsessed with me and my sister not using social media! He used to say that social media is something bad and that if we uploaded a photo of our selves people would use it and spy on us. So my dream about having a Youtube channel has been dead for a long time. But lately I've been thinking that maybe I could start one. That may be one of my 2016 resolutions. Unfortunately I am always thinking about what will others say about what I do and I know that having a Youtube channel is something everyone does nowadays, maybe I should just forget about what people will say and start focusing on what I want but it seems so difficult!
To be honest, I am really happy what where I am now in my life. I'm starting to do what I want and not depend on others so much. It seems like life is starting to change and myself too. And right now I'm rambling but I just needed to write something. And now what I should do is go and study (but I'm too lazy for that to be honest).
And I wish a happy New Year to everyone! (Even tho no one reads this except me)
